what they don't tell you
There are so many things they don’t tell you as you’re building a business.
Who are they? No idea. But I do know that when I was starting out, they didn’t tell me any of the things I know now. In fact, they often said the exact opposite.
Better you learn sooner than I did what isn’t true:
The more free exposure, the better. The more exposure you get, the more people will see you and like you and trust you and buy from you…right? Wrong. I blame American Idol, The Voice, and America’s Got Talent for making us believe that we’ll be picked. We podcast, we write for Forbes, and we shout from social media rooftops in the hopes that someone will pluck us out of the crowd. I spent years convinced that juuuuust the right amount of exposure would bring success and a giant check. “Exposure and waiting was the strategy that sent my career into the stratosphere,” said no one ever.
The more expertise-laden nuggets you can share, the more people will pay you. Nobody pays for expertise. They say they do. But what they really invest in is trust and perceived value, not expertise alone. Less expert-ing and more listening does a body good.
The more you use robust software, the more agile you’ll be in your daily tasks. We’re led to believe that without certain tech tools, we’ll never get it right. Unless you’re a software architect or a systems engineer, the Tech Trap is real. You’ll complicate your day unnecessarily. You’ll slow your progress. You’ll wither away into the internet abyss and interpret that as defeat or worse, you’ll be crushed by overwhelm. My CRM? A Google Sheet. My scheduler? Me, not Calendly. #KISS
Imposter syndrome goes away. Except that it doesn’t. It changes shape or feels differently, but it never goes away. There’s an illusion that it disappears because you simply learn to live with it. Oh, how I wish networking introductions began, “Hi! What’s your imposter syndrome?”
Feelings don’t belong here. They say that money is money and business is business and neither involves your feelings. That’s just not true. IT’S ALL SO EMOTIONAL. Everyone has a wonky money story that needs sorting out. We spend ungodly amounts of time hiding our feelings, tucking absorbent sweat pads into our pits, and convincing others (ourselves?) that we don’t feel a thing. We do! We feel all of it! Welcome it all and you’ll fare far better.
I know, I know. You’re wondering why it took me 20+ years to come to these realizations. Why didn’t anyone tell me along the way what the honest truths were about building a business?
Well, they did tell me. If only I’d listened.
See you soon,
jill
This SHOULD be the ultimate networking question: “Hi! What’s your imposter syndrome?” Brilliant!
The thing that frustrates me most is when people (often who are selling something) tell entrepreneurs that there's a "way to do it". There isn't one single way - there are as many different ones as there are individuals starting businesses. So no, you don't have to be on social media if that's not right for you/your business, you don't have to self-publish a book, you don't have to be a goddess of networking. Look at your audience, look at your strategy and find what works specifically in that context. There is no guaranteed path, and you don't have to pay someone to tell you how to do something that isn't right for you in the first place. Even if they say that's what "successful people do".